CHIRONY

It was the week before Christmas, and all through Shanghai,
The scent of my baking could be smelled far and nigh’…

The move to Shanghai is over, but even as we are approaching Christmas, Walker is still making overnight trips to Wuxi. At my house, Christmas has always been celebrated with a huge brunch, and so I have spent the last week in the kitchen, preparing one make-ahead dish each day.

Yesterday, it was crab mini-quiches, and the recipe I was using called for mayonnaise. I had bought a small jar of Kewpie mayo, a very common and inexpensive Chinese brand.

…The veggies were prepped by the stove top with care,
In hopes that the mayo soon would be there.
The quiche crusts were nestled all snug in their tin,
While my dreams of mini-quiches were dumped in the bin.
Walker in Wuxi and I with quiches to make,
Had just settled in for a long winter’s bake…

But this Christmas tale is about to come to a pause. I have tiny hands, but with the aid of a kitchen towel, I can usually avoid calling in reinforcements. I struggled for fifteen minutes, using every trick I could conjure up to try to work the stubborn top off of the jar, but it hadn’t budged a bit.

I had to admit defeat. I ran downstairs to see Shu Shu. He runs a store down stairs in my three story building. We live on the top floor, he and his wife live on the second, and they run a little shop selling drinks and cigarettes on the first. He was busy preparing their dinner, but was more than happy to help me with China’s most annoying jar of mayonnaise.

Even with his big hands, he was unable to make any progress. And just when I thought I was going to have to give up on my quiches for the night and get a new jar of mayonnaise in the morning, Shu Shu did something ingenious.

Opening the Mayonnaise Jar, Shu Shu Style.

He went to the door with the jar of mayonaise, put the metal top inside thedoor jamb, on the hinge side, between the jamb and the door itself. He pulled the door shut as hard as he could with his left hand, and with his right, twisted the glass jar.

Pop. The jar was open.

Now, mayonaise! Now, mustard! Now, paprika, start mixin’!
On peppers! On shallots! Those quiches I’m fixin’!

It’s such a small thing, but I’ve never seen anyone do that. So next time you come upon a difficult jar and you have a silly attachment to the skin on the inside of your palms, try Shu Shu’s trick! Chinese Innovation, what Walker and I usually make fun of relentlessly, is alive and well at Shu Shu’s house!

… Shu Shu exclaimed as he walked off in the night,
May all jars be opened, even ones that are on really tight!